


i glow pink in the night in my room (i’ve been blossoming alone over you)

by dorianwritessomestuff



Series: mitski x avatar cinematic universe [1]
Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: F/F, Fire Nation (Avatar), Gay Zuko (Avatar), Homophobia, I have no idea how to tag, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Internalized Homophobia, Lesbian Mai (Avatar), Lesbian Ty Lee (Avatar), Mai (Avatar)-Centric, Minor Mai/Zuko, POV Mai (Avatar), fuck sozin and his laws, no beta we die like lu ten, part one of avatar mitski crossover because i am depressed and gay, this is sozin hate account first and fanfiction account second, title and the entire fic based off mitski - pink in the night
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-18
Updated: 2020-12-18
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:28:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,983
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28150902
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dorianwritessomestuff/pseuds/dorianwritessomestuff
Summary: She hugged her akwardly, her hands on her back as she couldn’t help but tense at the feeling of her body pressed so close against hers, her arms hugging her neck as she snuggled against her dark robes. It felt good, she thought. She did not like people hugging her, but Ty Lee’s embrace felt good. Like a lost memory, who now resurfaced to bring a smile on her face.„I thought you ran off and joined the circus” she said, her hand still resting on her friend’s back, not wanting to let go off her just yet. Mai was aware of Azula’s vary stare on both of them and tried to not think about what was going on in princess’ head. „You said it was your calling.”Ty Lee finally let go off her, her face still smiling.„Well, Azula called a little louder!” her stomach tied in a knot at her words, she did not exactly know how to name the feeling (now, as she is older, she knows that this feeling was jealousy), but she ignored it. The girl in pink was with her again and she couldn’t help but think that she did not want to let go off her.or; Mai and her girl in pink.
Relationships: Mai/Ty Lee (Avatar)
Series: mitski x avatar cinematic universe [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2062260
Comments: 2
Kudos: 14





	i glow pink in the night in my room (i’ve been blossoming alone over you)

**Author's Note:**

> i have no regrets, i wrote while literally sobbing and listening to mitski. mailee is my comfort ship and there is not enough fics for them so i wrote my own. and it is officialy a start of mitski x avatar crossover!! next song - townie (guess in the comments about what character it will be about!!)

_I glow pink in the night in my room._

_I’ve been blossoming alone over you._

_And I hear my heart breaking tonight_

_I hear my heart breaking tonight_

_Do you hear it too?_

_It's like a summer shower_

_With every drop of rain singing_

  
  
_"I love you, I love you, I love you_  
_I love you, I love you, I love you_  
_I love you, I love you, I love you"_

_❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁_

Mai have noticed the girl from across the room.

She was sitting in the corner of the room, her clothes diffrent from the ones that most of kids wore. Mai herself was drowning in dark red robes that were slightly too big for her, the headpiece that was pulling her hair up making her feel uncomfortable. She hated wearing her hair up like that, ditching her signature half up half down hairstyle or two buns that one of the nicer maids was able to quickly make with her thin hair. Her mom ordered her (yes, her mother was using her „all mighty voice” on her own daughter) to wear her hair up, because they were supposed to eat dinner with the Fire Lord. It’s not like Mai really cared – she was six years old, about to start her education in Royal Fire Academy for Girls. She, like her mother always said, did not know anything.

She probably looked miserable, a disgusted expression that did not fit her childlish face. Her cheeks still had this baby fat that made her look ridiculous, when her eyebrows narrowed and her eyes squinting slightly to look at the girl in the corner of well decorated room. There were girls around her who looked exactly like her, but Mai was able to notice how diffrent she was from her apparent sisters. She was slightly smaller, maybe thinner, her cheeks maybe slightly more full and her clothes had this beautiful pink color, perfectly interpolated into traditional Fire Nation red. She looked pretty, Mai thought, her head tilting to the left as she studied the way girls’ eyes were fixated on her shoes. She was visibly uncomfortable, just like Mai, but instead of childlish anger, she could see the sadness in this small figure.

Mai wanted to go and talk to her. It was weird, because she have never really liked meeting new people, always keeping her head low and only opening her mouth when she was ordered too. But maybe the pretty girl was also just as miserable as Mai, maybe they could talk about stuff that girls were meant to talk about or maybe sit in silence. She did not realise why her heart suddendly started beating faster or why her hands felt wet, sweat starting to appear on them. And then the girl in pink rose her chin up, to meet the eyes of the man (probably her father) that was now speaking to her. His lips were moving, his gloomy figure standing next to the small pink girl like a giant. She tensed up, Mai’s eyebrows narrowed, the curious expression on her baby face.

And then Mai’s eyes fell onto the her face.

She was pretty, in a way that made Mai’s heart flutter and cheeks heat up. Her eyes were big and grey, such an unusual color for a Fire Nation girl. But Mai couldn’t help but wonder how they would look up close. Could she see ash, cold and dead or stormy clouds, alive and moving? What would it be like to know what was behind those sparkling eyes, what thoughts were in her head, what was she talking about to the gloomy figure next to her? For the first time in a long time there was a feeling of excitement in her heart, a small flame, so easy so snuff out.

„Come on, Mai” her mother’s voice suddendly felt like a cold wind, the flame disappearing with the feeling of emptiness in Mai’s soul. She looked up, meeting her mother’s eyes, whos eyes were cold and sharp (just like Mai’s eyes in the future). „It’s our turn to meet with the Fire Lord. Don’t speak unless I tell you to.”

Mai nodded. The woman’s hand gently patted Mai’s head. Praise. She was quiet and did not go across the room to meet the girl in pink. She behaved. Just like she was supposed to.

She looked across the room, only to find that the girl was gone.

She will never see her again, she thought, her heart sinking, as she let her mother grab her hand and take her to the scary chamber, to meet the man that sat behind the flames, away from the last memory of girl in pink.

_❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁_

Mai met the girl again.

Her name was Ty Lee and she had the sweetest laugh Mai has ever heard. She liked dancing, strawberries and stretching her body in a ways that Mai did not think were possible. She was funny, soft and seemed like a dream. A dream that now was sitting right next to Mai under the tree, turtleducks squealing in the background. It was the garden in the palace, smaller one, with pond right in the middle of it. Mai did not like the palace a lot, even tho she was treated here like royalty, thanks to being friends with princess Azula. But the pond was peaceful, always quiet and full of good memories. The wife of the Fire Lord, lady Ursa, let Mai and Ty Lee play there, smiling soft at two girls when they asked her.

„I saw you playing with Zuko” Ty Lee said, as she brought her leg up, her body looking like a string in one of those instruments that always played on dinners at Fire Lord’s palace. Mai couldn’t help but admire younger girl, the way her left foot was situated firmly on the ground, keeping her safe and balanced. Mai was so occupied with looking at Ty Lee’s slender body that she almost missed her words.

She sighed, trying to hide the fact that her cheeks were flushed.

„You are also playing with Zuko, Ty. And so is Azula”

„But you spend a lot of time with him!” her leg fell down and Ty Lee brought her hands to lay them on her hips. Her eyes suddendly lit up and she giggled. „You are blushing. You like him!”

„No I don’t!” she huffed, her arms crossing on her chest. She was half telling the truth. She liked Zuko. But not in a way that everyone expected her too. He was nice, a little bit hotheaded and sometimes he was very funny. But when she thought about holding his hand or even kissing him, like adults often do? Gross! She wasn’t even sure if she wanted to kiss boys at all. They were stupid and gross and Mai was sure that marrying a girl would be a lot better than being with a stupid boy for the rest of her life.

Ty Lee was smiling in a way that only Ty Lee could smile and Mai felt her cheeks heat up more. It probably looked like she was flustered about Zuko, who was nice but not as nice as her girl in pink.

„I know you better, Mai” she wanted to argue but Ty Lee did knew her how no one did. She was the only person that the gloomy girl let inside her shell, the only person that Mai could easily call a friend. Azula was also her friend but not in a way that the girl making cart-wheels on the grass, with a giggle on her lips and sparkles in her eyes, was. „You likeeeeee him!”

„And if I do like him, then what?”

„You will marry him some day!” Mai rolled her eyes at Ty Lee’s words, bitting her tongue when she wanted to say that she did not want to marry the hotheaded boy who she only liked playing tag with. „And you will have beautiful babies together!”

„Ew!” Ty Lee laughed and Mai felt her stomach tie in a not and where there bumble flies in her tummy?

Ty Lee’s both feet were now on the ground, one strand of hair got out of her braid. She couldn’t help but think how pretty she looked, turtleduck pond behind her and her flushed cheeks matching her pink clothes. The grass right now seemed a lot prettier when Ty Lee was touching it with her slippers and the sky did not have a single cloud in sight when she was around. She liked the girl in pink. More than she liked Zuko, more than she liked Azula and more than she even liked herself.

_❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁_

Zuko was banished.

Mai was there during his Agni Kai, her heart beating faster than ever and Ty Lee snuggled to her chest. The girl could not stand looking at Zuko begging her father so she hid her face in Mai’s dark robes, sobbing softly. Mai herself couldn’t help but want to cry and scream, interrupt whatever the hell was now going on in the Agni Kai room. But she couldn’t. Her father was on her right, carefully watching the scene that was now happening in front of all those people. She knew that she was meant to watch, to stay silent, or she will get locked in her room for the rest of the week and refused food. So she focused her attention on sobbing girl, snuggled so close that she could probably hear how hard Mai’s heart was beating, like one of the drums that her distant cousin, Lee San could play with his strong hands easily.

Her slender hand was now stroking her friend’s hair, other hand on her arm, bringing her so close to her slim body that they could almost become one. Mai’s face was emotionless, careful to not show any signs of emotions that her father might find disappointing and useless. She was taught to not bat an eye when someone was beaten, hurt, burnt or yelled at. But could she wear her mask while her best friend was getting his young and flawless face burnt by his own father?

The answer was yes. Mai felt her lip tremble, a sob threatening to escape her lips and let itself be known, but she bit it down until there was blood on her chin. She quickly cleaned it with her sleeve, praying to Agni that her father won’t notice the slight redness on her fair skin. And once the screaming was over and Mai could see Azula’s pleased face with the corner of her eye (which mad the girl want to punch her right now and then but the small body pressed to her chest stopped her from doing so), she felt a small hand on her chin. She looked down and noticed Ty Lee, who was still holding her close but her head wasn’t buried in Mai’s chest. She was crying, she could see how puffy her eyes where and how pink her nose had became. But she put her thumb near her lips and then brought it to her chin, cleaning of the slightly dried blood. It was comforting and it made Mai ignore the whispers and Fire Lord’s speech about „respect”, as he did not even bother to take care of his son who was still laying on the cold floor, unconcious and burned.

Mai wasn’t let to see him.

She threw a massive tantrum, the first one in years, screaming that she wanted to see her friend, to hold his hand and tell him that it is going to be fine. She wasn’t in love with Zuko, like everyone expected her to, but she loved him. She could not explain her feelings for the boy and she did not even bother to do so, too busy to yell at everyone trying to stop her. And then she felt her father’s hand on her cheek, a hit hard enough to make still small and weak Mai to fall to the ground. He yelled at her and she could see her mother in the corner of her eye, watching the scene silently. Then he dragged her by her hair to her room, only to be locked and left alone to „think about her behaviour”.

She was still locked in her chambers when news of Zuko banishment reached her ears. And Mai was way too heartbroken and helpless to even cry.

Two days after Zuko’s alleged departure with his Uncle (Mai has not really liked the man but now she couldn’t help but feel a lot of newfound respect for the man), Ty Lee visited her.

„Are you okay?” she asked her, sitting next to her on the floor, their shoulders touching. Mai was still in her sleeping robes, not bothering to change if she was still not allowed to go outside. And she knew that Ty Lee did not care, even tho she looked flawless as always, her hair put in a high braid and her clothes pink and pretty, her face slightly flushed, as far as Mai could see in the dim room.

She shook her head, not even wanting to say a word. She knew that if she even tried to say anything, she would feel her eyes water and she would start to sob, ruining Ty Lee’s perfect pink clothes with her big wet tears. The girl took her slender hand with her soft small hands and she could help but think that she wouldn’t be anywhere else than with Ty Lee, who’s soft presence mad her heart calm down and sould be at peace.

She couldn’t help but want to join their lips, wondering how would it feel to have Ty Lee’s plump lips next to hers. But she didn’t, to worried to face rejection that would be inevitable, to worried to break her already fragile heart into many pieces. She sat with her, in silence, their fingers entangled and Ty Lee’s head leaning on her arm. No, she would definitely not want to be anywhere else than here, where she finally felt whole for the first time in many days.

_❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁_

Mai wasn’t expecting to see Ty Lee again.

After Zuko’s banishment, their friend group slowly drifted apart. Mai was kind off expecting it and when her father got promoted to governor of one of the colonies and they had to leave the capital, she said her goodbye’s to her friends and left with her family. Mai’s boring life has become even less appealing to the young girl, who out of boredom was throwing knives at her bedroom wall, right next to family portrait. She realised that she was slowly becoming better with each day, smiling as she managed to not miss the target ten times in a row. It was the only thing that kept Mai occupied and happy, which was definitely weird, but she did not have any other forms of entertaiment. Her parents were busy and she had no friends to hang out with.

Except for one girl.

Ty Lee wrote her letters regularly and she managed to memorise her friend’s handwriting perfectly. Her letters were stored in a box that was kept under her bed, locked and hidden from her parents. Her last letter was talking about her plan to run away to circus, calling it her „calling”. And then Mai did not heard of her again, figuring that her plan had worked. Well, she wasn’t invited to the funeral and she heard servants talking about nobleman’s daughter, who decided to run away from her life of prosperity and join the travelling circus. Good for her, Mai thought, as she threw another knife. And another one. And another one. And another one.

But her rather calm day at Omashu (except for Tom-Tom’s alleged kidnapping but Mai was sure that her brother was fine, or at least she hoped that he is fine) was interrupted by sudden information of the arrival of Princess Azula. Mai put down her throwing knives as she made herself look at least slightly presentable, resigning from even trying to put her hair in topknot and making two buns on the sides of her hair. She did not really care about meeting her old friend again, but she wanted to look good, at least for herself.

Well, she was glad that she fixed her hair, because behind Azula stood Ty Lee.

She was older and puberty definitely started working it’s wonders on her body and face. Mai wasn’t even aware that she could get any more beautiful, but there she was, her hair pulled in a tight braid, wearing her signature pink clothes but now they had some things that were probably significant to circus performers. She looked just like a dream, with her grey eyes sparkling and cheeks flushed. Mai couldn’t help but feel her heart beat faster, exited to see her best friend again.

When she and Azula exchanged few sentences, joking about Azula killing her (which kind of wasn’t a joke – Mai knew that if Azula wanted, she could burn her to crisp), the girl behind the princess stepped forward and literally threw herself into Mai’s arms. She hugged her akwardly, her hands on her back as she couldn’t help but tense at the feeling of her body pressed so close against hers, her arms hugging her neck as she snuggled against her dark robes. It felt good, she thought. She did not like people hugging her, but Ty Lee’s embrace felt good. Like a lost memory, who now resurfaced to bring a smile on her face.

„I thought you ran off and joined the circus” she said, her hand still resting on her friend’s back, not wanting to let go off her just yet. Mai was aware of Azula’s vary stare on both of them and tried to not think about what was going on in princess’ head. „You said it was your calling.”

Ty Lee finally let go off her, her face still smiling.

„Well, Azula called a little louder!” her stomach tied in a knot at her words, she did not exactly know how to name the feeling (now, as she is older, she knows that this feeling was jealousy), but she ignored it. The girl in pink was with her again and she couldn’t help but think that she did not want to let go off her.

_❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁_

Being in Azula’s elite team was probably one of the most exciting thing that had happened to Mai in a very long time. She joined the princess because of her boredom and everything that they were doing to capture the Avatar definitely made her feel a rush of adrenalinę through her veins. They almost managed to capture Avatar and his little team, assisted in plan of conquering Ba Sing Se by using a huge metal drill and even fought with elite group of warriors (who, compared to them, weren’t exactly elite). And now, they were infliltrating the „safest” city in the world, dressed as a bunch of Earth Kingdom Warriors. It was suprisingly easy to fool the king and the entire court that three warriors, with features specific to Fire Nation, were honored and beloved Kyoshi Warriors. What a bunch of fools.

The room they were staying in was really pretty, she had to admit it, the wallpaper decorated in various prints of flowers. The entire room was full of shades of green that the existance of she wasn’t even aware. She and Ty Lee decided to share their rooms, as their bond became even stronger after their reunion. Mai was really suprised about the fact how easy her friend managed to make her smile, how much she liked spending time with bubbly girl that was the exact opposite of her cold and calculated personality. And she definitely preffered to stay in the room with her than with Azula.

Mai now was taking off her makeup with a wet cloth, face paint slowly getting off her face. She hated wearing it, ditching her favourite eye look for stupid white powder and red lipstick. Now she was trying to take it all off and it wasn’t working, leaving her flustrated and at the edge of throwing the bowl full of water across the room.

„Do you need some help?”

Mai turned around, only to meet Ty Lee’s eyes, a big smirk on her face. She was not wearing any makeup or face paint, her skin smooth and fair, lips plump and slightly red, probably stained from the red paint. She was relaxed, her hair put in a low braid, falling on her right arm. She was wearing her sleeping robes, the ones that were given to them at the beginning of their stay at the palace. She couldn’t help but think that green really fit her, somehow complimenting her eyes and making them look slightly bigger. Mai tried to not linger for too long on her body, to not think about the fact how much her features seemed attractive to her. She wasn’t supposed to think like that about a girl, no matter how pretty she looked in pink or green.

Mai shrugged.

„Sure, I guess.” her friend came a few steps forward, taking the cloth from her slim hands into her small ones. She put in the water for few seconds and then touched her face with it. Mai closed her eyes, feeling safe and comfortable with Ty Lee’s touch on her face. She tried to not think too much about her body being so close to her, about how good she smelt (did she use new perfume or did she just noticed the fact that she smelled like honey?) and about the fact that her imagination was trying to push an image of Ty Lee’s parted lips into her mind. To not let her mind wander in strange and sinful places, she opened her eyes.

It was a mistake.

Ty Lee’s lips were indeed parted, but her eyes were the thing that made Mai lost it. She was focused on her face, studying it in search for untouched parts of white paint. She turned around, to dip the cloth in the water and then touched it to Mai’s lips, touching it as if a butterfly landed on them. She was so close that she could easily see all the sparkles in her grey eyes, like little stars on the sky. She was beautiful, Mai had no other word that she could use to describe her friend, so natural and gentle.

She put down the cloth and smiled at Mai. Mai smiled back. And before she could say anything, Ty Lee joined their lips together.

She froze at the begining, confused and suprised, but then her hand sank into her brown hair. She felt her friend’s hands hug her neck, her fingertips touching the line of her spine in a way that left sparkles as if she was somehow a firebender and touched her skin with fire. Her lips were just as soft as she expected, kissing her in a way that made butterflies explode in her stomach and her heart pound in her chest. But it felt good, oh Agni, it felt so good to be kissing her in a way that boys kiss girls, in a way that they shouldn’t be kissing but they are kissing like that anyway. Her thoughts went blank as she kissed her again.

And again. And again. And again. And again. Until they fell asleep in each other’s arms, safe and sound.

_❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁_

Mai hoped that their kiss from last night changed things between her and Ty Lee for better, but Zuko came back. And they had to come back to the Fire Nation.

Zuko, who everyone expected her to marry. It was an impulse, to get together with him. It was one thing to kiss your best friend on your secret mission in the heart of the enemy of your nation but it was a second thing to keep this relationship going when you came back to your home, where you could be executed for even thinking about kissing girls. So she broke things of with her, at least that’s what it was supposed to mean when she kissed Zuko right in front of her. And Ty Lee got the message, because she did not bring up the kiss again. Mai felt ashamed, but with Avatar’s death the Fire Nation was close to victory. She could not risk their lives for some stupid desire to be with her in a way that boys are with girls.

But it still hurt, seeing Ty Lee slowly distance herself from Mai. She and Azula started spending even more time together, Mai could swear that she saw her flirt with even more guys than before. She felt a dagger stab her with every wink that she sent to a boy, with every compliment that she gave them. She promised to not let go of the only thing that made her feel things, but she did and now she was paying the price. Ty Lee wasn’t hers, so why did it hurt so much?

Her life was going downhill, with Zuko’s escape at the top of the pile. His letter broke Mai’s heart, because she wanted to go with him. She wasn’t in love with him, she knew that, but he was the only person that kept her sane those last few weeks, after Ty Lee started ignoring her. She could feel herself fall down again into the void, not feeling anything good or anything bad. She just was – silent, quiet, not even showing how much Zuko’s words hurt her. She had nothing left to lose.

And that’s maybe why she drew her knife at the Boiling Rock. Not for her uncle, who was an absolute prick and asshole, but for her idiot ex-boyfriend that betrayed his own nation (or, as she corrected herself, was doing something actually right). She was fast and agile, throwing knives just like she taught herself as a kid, using every technique that she invented or read about in diffrent scrolls and books. She could see red and pink clothes with th corner of her eye, slowly getting closer to her, but she did not stopped fighting until the gondola was on the other side. Then, quietly as always, she put her hands down. She served her purpose. It was all up to Zuko now. She hoped that he won’t waste her gift to him, considering the fact that it could be her last act of service to him ever.

When guards surrounded her, she did not fight. Instead, she stood proudly against Azula, her chin up and proud for the first time in her life.

„Leave us alone” princess’ cold voice ordered and the guards obeyed her immidietly. Mai could see Ty Lee with the corner of her eye, her hands joined together as if she was praying, eyes full of fear.

„I never expected this from you.”Azula looked at her carefully and Mai could swear that she saw a flash of hurt and betrayal on her face. Good, she thought, not regreting a thing. Mai returned her cold glaze with the same intensity.

„The thing I don’t understand is why? Why would you do it? You know the consequences.”

And Mai really did knew them. She knew that she signed her death sentence the second she drew out her knife and attacked the first guard. But she also knew exactly why she was doing it.

„I guess you just don’t know people as well as you think you do.” she has never been so sure of her words. If those were her last moments, she might as well be honest and speak out herm ind. For the first time in her entire life, Mai was going to say what exactly was on her mind. „You miscalculated. I love Zuko more than I fear you.”

„No, you miscalculated!” Azula’s face converted in anger and she felt her hand get tighter around her last knife left. „You should have feared me more!”

Azula took her fighting stance, the one her enemies have seen before burning to crisp and Mai took out her knife, ready to strike. She could’t defeat the princes. But she won’t go down without a fight.

Last few seconds seemed to be happening in slow motion. Azula took one step forward, her hand streching out to blast a fireball at Mai. She could imagine the feeling of fire on her skin, the agony, but it did not happen. She heard similar sound of quick punches and Azula gasped. She fell down and Mai’s eyes widened at the sight.

Standing over her, was Ty Lee. The same Ty Lee that has blindely obeyed Azula’s orders. The same Ty Lee that told Mai about her fear of cold Fire Nation princess. The same Ty Lee that lips felt like heaven against Mai’s, the same Ty Lee that was exited about funny looking clouds, the same Ty Lee that now was standing over defensless Azula, who still did not say a thing, too shoked to even close her wide open mouth.

And Mai remembered what she said to Azula. I love Zuko more than I fear you. She couldn’t help but feel like Ty Lee’s act was also a message to their shared friend, a truth that she also hidden inside her heart.

I love Mai more than I fear you.

_And Mai loved her girl in pink more than she loved anything in this world._

_❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁_

  
_I could stare at your back all day_

_I could stare at your back all day_

_And I know I've kissed you before, but_

_I didn't do it right_  
  
_Can I try again, try again, try again_  
_Try again, and again, and again_  
_And again, and again, and again?_


End file.
